Whoring is not as easy as I thought it might be. Last night I moved to a corner further down the road where there would be fewer holes to compete with.
Business wasn't exactly booming on my corner but I did land a fish at the end of the night. He had bodily hair much like that of an ape. I was shocked to see a thick pelt sprouting from his knuckles! No wonder the poor man has to pay for sexual favors. No right thinking woman would bed him.
As luck would have it my John could only afford oral sex. It was a terrible business. I nearly developed lock jaw before he achieved his final success. Once done, I literally said a prayer of thanks.
I do hope this job improves soon. I was hoping to spend more time on my back and less on my knees. Thank the Lord I thought to take a towel. It's the only thing that saved my knee caps.
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14 comments:
Maybelle, I would gladly trade you an unopened glade air freshner for sex.
I eagerly await your response.
Henry
Henry,
Erase you note immediately. I told you Maybelles diary is a secret!
Mildred
Mildred,
No.
Henry
Mildred! What have you done! Kindly keep your nose out of my business from here on.
Henry,
Sex would require a working penis. Yours hasn't for quite some time. Go away and take your room freshener and Mildred with you!
Maybelle,
I don't care for the tone you took with me. I told Henry nothing. He just found out.
Mildred
Stuff it, Mildred! You are without doubt the busiest busy body at the home. And everyone knows it. Always butting in to other people's lives.
Mildred, you do have a reputation as a buttinsky.
Henry
So, it's all about me now? Maybelle sneaks out every night, has the penis of a strange, hairy, man in her mouth and I'm the one attacked?
Mildred
Who's penis I have in my mouth is none of your concern, Mildred!
She's just stomped out, Maybelle.
I hope you'll take some time and reconsider my offer.
Henry
She's just stomped out, Maybelle.
I hope you'll take some time and reconsider my offer.
Henry
GGG,
I would gladly crochet you some kneepads if you would only be my friend! Because even though I'm older than dirt with droopy tits and I can't SEE worth a shit, even I can see you're going to need knee replacement without the proper support.
Who am I again and how the hell did I get here with this magic box?
It's all Rodney's fault.
I can't see shit.
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